Boundaries and Family: Why They’re Hard (and Why You Need Them Anyway)
Let’s be honest—setting boundaries with family can feel impossible. Coworkers? Doable. Friends? Easier. But family? That’s where the guilt creeps in. That’s where you hear the “but we’re family” line. And that’s when you feel torn between protecting your own peace and not wanting to upset the people you love.
Here’s the truth, though: boundaries aren’t walls meant to completely block people out (though sometimes, they can be). They’re doors that we can open and close as we see fit. They’re a way of saying, “This is how I can stay connected to you in a healthy way, without losing myself in the process.”
Why boundaries with family feel so tricky
Family dynamics are complicated. Maybe you grew up in a household where boundaries weren’t respected. Maybe saying “no” was seen as disrespectful. Or maybe you’ve always been the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the one who puts everyone else first.
So when you start trying to set boundaries — whether that’s about how often you see someone, what topics are off-limits, or how much of yourself you give — it can feel uncomfortable. But it’s important to remember that just because it feels uncomfortable doesn’t mean wrong. It might just mean you’re doing something new.
What boundaries actually look like
Boundaries with family might sound like:
“I’m not able to talk right now, but I’ll call you back tomorrow.”
“Please don’t comment on my body/relationships/parenting.”
“We won’t be able to make it to every holiday gathering.”
“I love you, and I also need time for myself.”
Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes they’re small shifts in how you show up, and sometimes they’re bigger changes. Either way, boundaries are about protecting your energy so your relationships feel more balanced instead of draining.
Why they matter
Here’s the thing: without boundaries, resentment builds. You might keep saying yes when you really want to say no, or staying quiet when something hurts you. Over time, that chips away at connection. With boundaries, you create space for honesty, respect, and healthier relationships.
And no — setting boundaries doesn’t make you a “bad” son, daughter, sibling, or parent. It makes you human. And it often makes you a better family member in the long run, because you’re showing up from a place of choice instead of obligation.
Final thoughts
Boundaries with family aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about letting love in without burning yourself out. They give you permission to say: I can love you, and I can also take care of myself.
And that’s not selfish — it’s healthy, and it’s necessary.
💡 At Morrow Therapeutics, I help individuals navigate the challenges of setting and maintaining boundaries — especially within family dynamics. You can protect your peace, honor your needs, and still care for the people you love. I’m here to support you in finding that balance.