Fed Is Best: Choosing What Works for You and Your Baby

Few topics spark more debate (and guilt) than how we feed our babies. For years, “breast is best” has been the dominant message, and while breastfeeding does have benefits, it’s important to recognize a truth that often gets lost: fed is best.

At the end of the day, a baby needs nourishment and a parent who is emotionally and physically well enough to provide care. If breastfeeding feels impossible, is contributing to postpartum depression, leads to overwhelming sleep deprivation, or simply isn’t something you want to do — that matters. Your well-being matters.

The pressure to breastfeed

Many new parents feel immense pressure to exclusively breastfeed, even if it’s not working for their bodies, their babies, or their mental health. That pressure can start shockingly early: sometimes at the very first prenatal visit. At just six weeks pregnant, as you’re possibly just discovering you’re pregnant and still processing how that feels for you, providers may already be asking, “Will you be breastfeeding your baby?”

While it’s true that providers want to encourage and support breastfeeding, these early questions can unintentionally create stress and guilt (because moms don’t have enough of that already). You’re barely adjusting to the idea of being pregnant, yet you may already feel like a “good parent” badge is being handed out based on how you plan to feed your baby nine months down the road.

The reality is that feeding decisions are complex. Many of the factors that shape them, such as birth experiences, milk supply, health concerns, emotional well-being, or simply personal preference, can’t be fully known during pregnancy. And while education and support are helpful, there are situations where continuing to breastfeed causes more harm than good.

Pushing yourself past your limits doesn’t make you a better parent. It makes things harder for both you and your child. A parent who is exhausted, depleted, or experiencing worsening postpartum depression isn’t being “helped” by clinging to breastfeeding at all costs. What helps is being empowered to choose the option that supports both your baby’s nourishment and your mental health.

Why fed is truly best

When we zoom out, the most important outcome is a nourished baby and a parent who is physically and emotionally well. That’s the foundation of healthy attachment, growth, and development.

How you get there can look different for every family. Some parents breastfeed exclusively, some pump and bottle-feed, others use formula or donor breastmilk, and many find that a combination of approaches works best. Each of these options is a safe, valid, and healthy way to feed a baby.

The truth is, your baby doesn’t care how they’re fed — they care that their needs are met consistently, and that they have a caregiver who is present, attuned, and responsive. A baby who is fed and thriving, in the arms of a parent who isn’t running on empty, will always be the best case scenario.

And while the conversation often centers only on the baby’s nutrition, your well-being matters just as much. Babies benefit most when their parent is rested enough to think clearly, emotionally balanced enough to engage, and supported enough to enjoy those early moments instead of just surviving them. Nourishing your baby and caring for your mental health are not separate goals; they go hand in hand.

It’s also important to remember that feeding choices aren’t permanent. What feels right in the newborn weeks may look very different a few months in. You might start out breastfeeding and later transition to formula, or begin with formula and later incorporate pumping, or shift between methods as your baby grows. These changes are normal and do not mean you’ve “failed” — they mean you’re paying attention to your baby’s needs and your own. Flexibility is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

Your mental health matters, too

Postpartum is already a vulnerable season, and adding guilt or shame about feeding choices only increases the burden. If breastfeeding is causing distress, it’s not selfish to stop. It’s wise, loving, and protective of your family’s overall well-being.

Here’s the bottom line: There is no one “right” way to feed a baby. The right choice is the one that keeps your child fed and allows you, as the parent, to feel healthy, stable, and present. Fed is best. Always.

💡At Morrow Therapeutics, I help parents sort through the noise, release unrealistic expectations, and find what truly works for them and their babies. Whether you’re navigating breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or a mix of both, my focus is on supporting your mental health so you can feel confident, grounded, and present in this season of life.