How to Support a Partner with Anxiety or Depression
Being in a relationship can be hard even on a good day. But when your partner is struggling with anxiety or depression, it can feel like you’re suddenly navigating a storm you didn’t see coming. You love them, you want to help, but sometimes you’re not sure what to do — or even if what you’re doing is helping.
First, take a breath. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Supporting someone through mental health challenges is challenging, but your presence can make a real difference.
Listen without trying to “fix it”
When your partner opens up, your instinct might be to jump in with solutions. “Just do this,” or “Think positive,” or “It’ll be okay” can feel natural — but often, it’s not what your partner needs.
Sometimes, they just need to be heard. Listening without judgment or advice shows them that their feelings are valid. A simple, “I hear you, and I’m here for you,” can be more comforting than a dozen well-intended suggestions.
Educate yourself
Anxiety and depression can be confusing, especially if you haven’t experienced them personally. Reading up, listening to podcasts, or talking to a mental health professional can help you understand what your partner is going through and avoid misunderstandings.
Understanding that depression might make your partner feel numb or disconnected, or that anxiety might make them seem irritable or withdrawn, helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.
Encourage professional support
While your support is valuable, it’s not a replacement for therapy or medical care. Encourage your partner to seek professional help if they haven’t already — but do so gently. You might say:
“I care about you, and I want you to get the support you deserve. Have you ever thought about talking to a therapist about this?”
Set boundaries and take care of yourself
Supporting someone else can take a lot of emotional energy. It’s okay (and necessary) to set boundaries. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for your own self-care, maintain friendships, and prioritize your own mental health.
Remember: taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you care less about your partner. It means you’ll be better equipped to be there for them.
Show up in small, meaningful ways
You don’t have to have all the answers or “fix” their anxiety or depression. Sometimes the most helpful things are small:
Sending a supportive text
Sitting quietly with them
Offering to go for a walk together
Making a meal or helping with errands
Consistency matters. Showing up — even in little ways — sends the message: I’m here. You’re not alone.
Be patient and keep perspective
Mental health struggles aren’t linear. There will be good days and not so good days. You might feel frustrated, helpless, or even guilty. That’s normal, too. Try to stay patient, celebrate small victories, and remember that progress often comes in tiny steps.
Final thoughts
Supporting a partner with anxiety or depression isn’t easy, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. But your empathy, patience, and presence make a difference. You don’t have to fix everything — you just have to be there.
And if you’re feeling overwhelmed yourself, therapy can be a space to process your own feelings, learn strategies for support, and find reassurance that you’re doing the best you can.
💡 At Morrow Therapeutics, I help individuals develop tools to manage the challenges of supporting a partner through tough times. Together, we can work to build healthy boundaries, prioritize self-care, and help you navigate this situation with confidence.