How to Talk to Children About Death
Death is one of the hardest topics for anyone to face — especially when it comes to explaining it to our children. You want to be honest, but you also want to protect them. You want to answer their questions, but sometimes even you don’t have all the answers.
Here’s the good news: talking to children about death is possible, and doing it in a thoughtful, supportive way can help them process their feelings and feel safe.
Be honest, but age-appropriate
Children can sense when something is wrong, even if you try to hide it. Avoid euphemisms such as the deceased person “went to sleep” or “passed away,” as these can confuse young children or make them fearful of sleeping. Use simple, direct language that matches their developmental level:
For younger children: “Grandma died. That means her body stopped working, and we won’t be able to see her anymore.”
For older children: “When someone dies, their body stops working. Their heart stops beating and they don’t breathe anymore. We can’t see them or talk to them anymore, but we can remember them and keep them in our hearts.”
Discussing heaven or the afterlife
If your family has religious or spiritual beliefs, it can be comforting to include those ideas in your conversation. Children often find reassurance in knowing that their loved one is in a safe, peaceful place or that they are still watching over them. You might say:
“We believe that Grandma is in heaven, and she’s safe and happy there.”
“Some people believe that even though we can’t see someone anymore, their love stays with us and guides us.”
It’s important to honor your family’s beliefs while staying open to the child’s understanding and questions. Encourage dialogue and allow them to express how they feel about these ideas.
Invite questions
Children are naturally curious, and their questions may come in waves. Some might be repetitive, some may seem random, and some may be very direct about fears. Answer as honestly as you can, without giving more detail than they can handle. It’s okay to say:
“I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out.”
“That’s a really good question. Let’s think about it together.”
“What do you think about that?”
Normalize feelings
Children may respond with sadness, anger, guilt, or even laughter — and most of the time, it’s completely normal. Let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling and that all emotions are valid.
“It’s okay to feel sad. I feel sad too.”
“It’s okay to be angry. Losing someone can make us really upset.”
Use rituals and remembrance
Rituals can help children understand and process loss. Lighting a candle, drawing pictures, looking at photos, or sharing stories are all ways to honor someone who has died and help children feel connected — not only to their lost loved one, but to you, too.
Be patient and present
Grief is a process, and children will need ongoing support. Their understanding of death evolves over time, and they may have new questions weeks or months later. Checking in, listening, and being available matters more than always having perfect answers.
Final thoughts
Talking to children about death is never easy, but doing so with honesty, empathy, and patience helps them feel safe, supported, and understood. Grief is a journey the whole family experiences, and children benefit when they are included in it — at their own pace and in their own way.
💡 At Morrow Therapeutics, I support individuals navigating the challenges of talking to their children about difficult topics. You don’t have to face these conversations alone. Together, we can build confidence, clarity, and strategies to approach these moments with care.