How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids: Parenting Without the Megaphone
Let’s be honest: most parents don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “I can’t wait to lose my sh!t and scream at my kids today!” But then… shoes don’t magically go on feet, snack wrappers are left on the floor like confetti, and your toddler is asking for water for the fifteenth time after you put them to bed. Suddenly, you’re yelling. Again.
If this is you, you’re not alone. You’re not a “bad parent.” You’re a human (who’s probably stretched pretty thin). And yelling is usually less about your kid being “bad” and more about you feeling overwhelmed, under-supported, and — yes, triggered.
Here are 5 strategies for yelling less (without pretending you’re someone you’re not).
1. Notice your triggers
Spoiler alert: kids are going to push your buttons. But some situations set you off faster than others. Maybe it’s mornings before school, maybe it’s bedtime chaos, maybe it’s the whining. When you know your hot spots, you can prepare yourself — not with monk-level calm, but with realistic expectations like, “Okay, bedtime is rough. I need to breathe and take five minutes for myself before we even start this rodeo.”
2. Hit pause before you explode
When you feel that “about to blow” sensation (tight chest, hot face, louder voice, that buzzing frustration), step back for 10 seconds. Literally leave the room if you need to. Close your eyes, take slow, deep breaths. Splash water on your face. Say out loud, “I’m about to yell, and that’s not what I want.” That pause interrupts the autopilot reaction that rage thrives on.
3. Use your “low voice”
Kids (and parents, let’s be real) sometimes tune out yelling. It just becomes noise. Try this instead: drop your voice to a whisper or calm tone. Practice being as monotone as possible. Think: calm, robot mom (or dad). It feels counterintuitive, but often kids pay more attention because it’s unexpected. Bonus: you don’t feel like you just shredded your vocal cords.
4. Lower the bar (seriously)
Sometimes we yell because we expect ourselves to do the impossible: get everyone dressed, fed, packed, and out the door in 10 minutes flat. Newsflash: you’re not actually superhero (despite that coffee mug that says so). Build in buffer time. Prep the night before. Accept that “on time” with kids may actually mean “a little late.”
5. Repair when it happens (because it will)
You’re not going to magically stop yelling forever. You’ll slip up. The good news? Repairing matters more than being perfect. After yelling, go back and say: “I’m sorry I yelled. I was feeling frustrated. It’s not your fault. I’ll work on handling it better next time.”
This teaches kids two things: 1) mistakes happen, and 2) owning them is powerful.
The bottom line
Stopping yelling isn’t about being endlessly patient or never getting angry. It’s about catching yourself before the explosion, lowering expectations, and repairing when things go sideways. You don’t need to be a perfect parent — just a real one who’s trying. And that’s more than enough.
💡 At Morrow Therapeutics, I support people who are ready to parent with more patience, less guilt, and greater confidence. Together, we can work on managing stress, breaking old patterns, and finding calmer ways to connect.