The Terrible (I Mean—Terrific?)Twos
Ah, the age of two. That magical time when your child transforms from an adorable, babbling toddler into a pint-sized lawyer who negotiates bedtime like it’s a high-stakes courtroom battle. Welcome to the Terrible Twos, and let’s keep it so real — sometimes, it feels like there’s nothing terrific about them.
What’s really going on?
At two years old, your child’s brain is exploding with growth. Language skills, independence, curiosity — it’s all happening at once. The problem? Their ability to communicate and regulate emotions hasn’t quite caught up. Enter: the meltdowns in the grocery store aisle and the firm refusal to wear anything but rain boots all. The. Time.
But this stage isn’t about your child being “terrible” — it’s about them learning. Your toddler is testing boundaries, exploring autonomy, and figuring out how the world works (even if that means yelling “NO!” approximately 46 times an hour).
Why they’re both terrible and terrific
Terrible: Tantrums. Negotiations. The sudden collapse onto the floor like your child has lost all bone structure.
Terrific: The wonder of watching your little one discover new words, skills, and bits of independence. The first “I do it myself!” might test your patience, but it’s also a sign of amazing growth.
Survival tips for parents
Some seasons of parenthood are all about surviving, not thriving — and that’s okay. Now is not the time to compare your life to your older sister’s — whose kids are five and seven and can successfully sit through dinner at a restaurant without needing a breadstick thrown across the room for entertainment. Your two-year-old is simply in a different developmental stage, and life looks a lot different here.
Pick your battles. Is wearing their shirt backwards really worth a fight? Probably not. Save your energy for the bigger things (like carseat buckles).
Offer choices. Toddlers love control. “Do you want the blue cup or the red cup?” gives them power — and saves you from the meltdown over which cup you didn’t pick.
Stay calm (even when they aren’t). Easier said than done, I know. But your calm presence teaches them that big feelings are survivable.
Remember: it’s not personal. The tantrum isn’t about you — it’s your child learning how to handle overwhelming emotions. The phrase “they’re not giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time” will carry you far.
A season, not a life sentence
The “terrible twos” can feel like a never-ending cycle of tantrums, messes, and negotiations. But this stage is temporary. Your child is building the foundation for independence, resilience, and self-expression. And someday, you’ll look back and laugh about the time they insisted on bringing three bananas, a wooden spatula, and the Declaration of Independence to the pediatrician’s office.
Here are a few ways to make it through:
Lower the bar. Some days are a win if everyone is fed, relatively clean, and in bed (even if you skipped the vegetables and their bath was basically a quick wipe-down with a washcloth).
Find your allies. Whether it’s another parent of toddlers who gets it, or a friend who will listen without judgment, don’t go through this alone.
Laugh when you can. Your toddler’s meltdown over the “wrong” shade of blue crayon might not feel funny in the moment, but keeping a sense of humor can help you both survive the chaos.
Remember this is temporary. The twos don’t last forever (only three hundred and sixty-five days, but who’s counting). What feels overwhelming today will become one of those “remember when” stories tomorrow.
You don’t have to nail parenthood right now. You just have to keep showing up — which, in your toddler’s eyes, makes you pretty amazing.
💡 Parenting a toddler is no joke — and it’s normal to feel exhausted, frustrated, or even guilty for not “loving every moment.” At Morrow Therapeutics, I help parents manage the stress of early childhood so you can feel more grounded (and maybe even enjoy the ride a little more).